The Americans are coming...

Monday March 6th

After my crazy day with Katie I decide to have a slow day by myself and take in the french way of life. I take Katie's advice find a cafe in the middle of the street and order a cafe elonge en francais and the waitress is off with my order. Yeah. Babysteps. I sit drink my coffee and write postcards while watching all the people scurry by. After an hour I must go home and eat a real meal as I am practically shaking from caffination and no food.

Writer's note: I am beginning to change names here to protect the innocent and the unfortunate.

I get a call from a male french friend we will call "the entertainer" (how about ET for short?) and he asks me to dinner on Tuesday. Yeah, he also asks what I have accomplished getting settled and I say not much. He volunteers to help and we can discuss a plan of action over dinner. Btw, there is interest on my end not really sure yet his plan of action. I am hoping he falls within 10 minutes but he is not typical french so probably not happening. We will wait and see.

My girlfriend Lindsay and her boyfriend Ash are coming in from London today. They are travelling for Ash's 30th bday. Happy b-day Ash! (your 2 seconds of fame are officially over now). Anyway, get a call in the afternoon from Lindsay and they want to meet for a drink tonight. By the way, they happen to be staying a few blocks from me. What a coincidence! So, I take them to the one place I know that is close to both of us off St. Germain called Mabillion. (sound familiar? a few blogs back w/Steph) I should get paid for these plugs! Moving right along. We meet there and exchange stories. Then two guys arrive and sit right next to us. As I had just explained to Ash the way things work in Paris. You hang out and people just start talking to you and your night begins. So, the two guys start to talk to us and ask us where we are from etc. And as I say, our night begins...

The guy sitting next to me (really almost ontop of me) gives me his name "Joe Kool" JK for short. He as a typical french guy and talking so close to me I am backing up so we don't kiss before I can spit out somemore bad french to impress him with. Another side note he is not attractive and smells a bit fresh. Also very young. Anyway, his buddy is "Mario" who is also french but has lived in Toyko for the past 12 years. Interesting fellow. Speaks seven languages. Mario is in town visiting and rented a car from JK and asked him to go for a drink. You know the we do it in America get gas ask attendant out for beers etc. What? Mario is not young so don't see the interesting connection...yet. Mario tells us he is married to a Japanese woman and they have two kids he also has another kid from either another marriage or something I did not ask. Anyway, we begin talking about what we are all doing in Paris. JK is actively persuing me now and telling me I am "tres sympa et mignon" whatever dude I hear it all the time and you stink. He also kindly offers to be my personal french tutor GROSS no-way! Another side note: Frenchmen fall very fast like within 10 minutes and once they have their eyes on you there is no going back. Must ask french girl how to get rid of guys without pissing too many of them off. So, Mario proposes we go out clubbing tonight. What? It is Monday night and doesn't he have his wife and three kids here? Answer is yes and he says being married sucks your life is over let's go out! Mom, when you read this part please note another reason why I am still single. After we tell Mario Monday night is not the night we want to party with total strangers (maybe Friday and with other cooler strangers) he digresses to just taking us for a ride to show my two friends all the sights in Paris at night. We agree and get into the car with two total strangers (after Mario throws the baby seat in the trunk?) First we head to the Eiffel Tower (which is not lite anymore b/c it is 2am) then onto place de la concorde, champs elysees, trocodero, louvre, oblisk, Musee d'Orsay and Sacre Coeur. I am bitching a bit b/c I am tired and JK is practically in my lap and asking me out. YUK. Mario is insisting on getting out of the car and taking pictures. Mind you we can't see a thing b/c no lights are on it is the middle of the night. This poor guy must really have a crappy life to schlep us around at 2am. Here we come full circle with Mario he makes friends with any young single people to stay away from his own reality. So sad. It is very cold and my foot is hurting. (reference previous story for fall at Metro) We get to Sacre Coeur and we park and climb up to the top (foot hurting badly) take more pointless pictures and finally we are off to home. I propose to get dropped off first as I don't want to be alone in the car with JK. JK gives me his number, and jump out of the car and head to bed. Thank god that is over.

(I apologize Lindsay and Ash it was nice to see you guys but had to give it my perspective.) So Monday night ends after 3am. When will I have an early night?

Tuesday

I have exchanged emails with french friend of my dad we will call him Pierre. He is very key to this story as he is VIP in Paris and is willing to help me with my CV. We set up a meeting for Wednesday morning at 9am. Must have early night tonight to be ready. I decide to get my laptop and go to a wireless cafe in the neighborhood so I can update my resume and start drafting cover letters. I look up two in the area and decide to take myself to lunch first. I go to a cafe on the corner of the street where the wireless cafes are and get seated. I order a salad and water. Two girls walk in and get seated right next to me. They are american and know NO french. I puff up a bit as I am practically fluent compared to them. Poor things! I can't believe I am going to say this but I am now starting to see Americans through French eyes now. Here goes...They come across as typical Americans. They sit down and say Mer SEE. Yikes! As they peruse the menu one girl says to the other um this menu is in French like how am I supposed to read this? DUH? They call over the waiter and say this is in french can we have it in English? He smiles and says in perfect English yes you can if you turn to the second page it is all in English. Oh! After overhearing that this is there first trip to Paris and they have been here for three days and think they have done very well. It is all in the eye of the beholder, eh? I pipe up and say where are you from? One looks at me surprised and says Chicago. The other girl is from Ohio but now lives in Germany with her husband. I tell them I am also from Chicago but now live here. After we establish that I am not married to a frenchman, not following a frenchman, no job etc they say why would you move from Chicago it is so great? Also, why would you quit your job leave your friends etc. I give them the short version and the Chicago girl says wow I could never do that and I think to myself, I know. We exchange somemore stories and I give them some tips on where to go. They are staying in Disneyland?Paris b/c Germany girl is afraid to drive in Paris. Driving in Paris looks pretty scary but I think a french Mickey Mouse is worse! I leave and am off to wireless cafe two doors down. I walk in and no one is using a laptop it is a smokey dirty bar. I ask the bartender is this the correct place for wireless? She says yes but it not working. Typical. I walk to the next place two doors down and it is Ferme! Again, typical. Strike two I am now out. I decide to go to the Phamacia for some contact lens solution and nail polish remover. My nails are chipping and look not french and well manicured. I ask the lady at the counter for contact solution there are two kinds one is 7 euros and the other is 8 euros. Mind you they are travel size!!! Okay, almost $10 for 2 weeks worth of solution. Lasik surgery would have saved me some money. Then I ask for nail polish remover and cotton. This is all in Franglais. She gets what I am saying and I get another travel size nail polish remover for 10 euros and cotton pads for 5 euros. Okay anyone following me with the math? Almost $30 and I got nothing. I then head to the grocery store again so I can eat at home tonight. I am stopped by a man who says quickly to me in french ...translation where is the metro? I get some of it and am flustered but repeat in french le metro? He says oui. I say back to him and turn around and point "la-bas" (which means there) He says oh, oui, merci! I say "De rien" (you're welcome) and we part ways. Oh my, there is one person in Paris that is french and might think that I am too! Today is a good day! I almost skip to the grocery store with a big stupid American smile!!! I then come home with my booty of french cheese, baguette and ham. One good thing I can buy all of this for under 10 dollars. After I am home and getting situated the phone rings I answer and in quick french a woman on the other end is asking if this is Kendall Sowers. I say oui. She then goes into a very complex french something I say repeatez s'il vous plait, je ne comprend pas. (please repeat I don't understand) She keeps going and I am lost! We are not communicating at all and I know she is calling for me for a reason but don't know what she is saying. After she says d'accord? (okay?) I say another je ne comprend pas and she hangs up. Okay, today now is not a good day what just happened? One of the charming things about living here, once you think you have accomplished something you realize you have so far to go. Luckily, I get a call from Lindsay who wants to meet up. It is now raining and I ask her to come over and we can walk St. Germain together and get a coffee and shop. We hit some cheap stores and Lindsay and I catch up. Not that we need to I just saw her last weekend at my party. Weird, eh? Anyway, it starts to get pretty nasty and cold and late. It is almost 7pm and I need to get home for my call from ET. He calls and aplogizes but he can't do dinner b/c his parents are coming in from vacation tonight and need him to pick them up and stay at his place for the night. They live in south of france somewhere. So, we reschedule for Monday night. Actually, works out well b/c now I am home early with nothing to do but make a little french picnic and go to bed early. Good choice. I am in bed by 11pm...YIPEE!