Free ride with the Chef???

Some Saturday night towards the end of June???

We are dating back about 3 weeks now...

RG invited me to a company party on a boat on the Seine. Cool! We decide to meet at her flat for pre-party drinks. We drink a bottle of vino, strawberries and chocolate before we go. Like all pre-parties in Paris they are upscale ways to save money!!! We get on Metro and get on this huge party boat next to Assembly Nationale and near Place de la Concorde. The boat is filled with people drinking mingling, and there is a dance club downstairs. RG introduces me to all of her co-workers who are very young. We get drinks and mingle amoung the crowd. We decide it is a bit young and we should make the best of it and dance downstairs. The music is good and we have our own girl dance party going. As the hours pass it gets more and more crowded (more early 20 somethings). I am getting hit on by a cute guy that tells me he is 20 and doesn't care that I am 30-something!!! I bet he doesn't but unfortunately I do! If he is not Ashton Kutcher I ain't buying what he is selling. He kept pestering me and then proceeded to follow me into the girls bathroom. Of course, in france this is no big deal. No women look at him twice. I get into a stall and peel off my sweaty jeans to do my perfected hover. I get out of the stall to be relieved on two levels. I have peed successfully with toilet paper and 20-something is making out with other chick in front of me. Cool. I do the quick wash up as to not disturb the happy couple and dash outta there. I find RG and we continue dance party for a bit then decide to go back upstairs for fresh air. Remember fellow readers, france has no a/c in the important places (aka clubs? bars etc) We mingle a bit go back downstairs and repeat a few times. The last time to go to top we walk to the front of the boat and who is there but my 20-something. He asks for my number and is surprised when I say no? I was not going to say anything about the make-out b/c in France they don't care. I looked at RG and said I think it is time to go. We successfully bail and walk to hotel Crillion for a taxi. RG is much more into her drink than myself so I nicely let her take the first cab. Mistake #99. I immediately get surrounded by Arab men offering to take me home. I negiotiate with one and walk towards his cab. He has no light on top and an unmarked car. RED FLAG. I ask why he says he is a private cab. HMMMM???? Okay, I ask a few more questions and it is not too convincing. Luckily, Hotel Crillion is next to the American Embassy which is guarded by the Gendarmes 24 hours a day. I say let's take you over to the Gendarmes (cops) and ask if you are legit if they say okay then I will get into your cab. He says no, no no. I immediately tell him no thanks and then they all say we will drive you home for free! No way! I scurry off to the Gendarme and ask where else I can find a ride he says in french it's too late to get a cab. Whatever dude you suck this is paris and it is never too late for anything. I walk away and start my trek home on foot. I get to the Grand Palais and it is being guarded by the Pompiers (firemen, who are much hotter then the gendarme) There are two men on the corner one in uniform and one not but has fancy belt, gun and CB. I approach them and ask where I can get a cab they say there are none it is too late. I explain that they are sorely mistaken as I have had many late nights in Paris and have gotten cabs so they need to come up with a better answer. We go back and forth a bit and explain I am not walking home by myself at 3:30 am. The man in the street clothes gives me a "un moment si l'vous plait" and runs back to the Gr Palais. He negiotiates with some other Pompiers and calls me over. He tells me to follow him to the side door of the Grand Palais and knocks on the door where there are about 5 security guards. They let him in and he has some quick exchange and comes back out. He says he will give me a ride home. What? I question him in front of his hommies and ask why he doesn't have the cool uniform on? He says b/c I am the Chef! I know this is french but I immediately go into dumb blonde mode and say what? You are the cook??? After instant explosion of laughter from his hommies in uniform I understand my translation error. He is the Chief of the Fire department! I love when I am so clueless...not really. After I get over embarrassment and apologize I realize how pimpy this is! We get into his little car (something small and frenchy) and as he starts the engine the music blares. Seniorita by Justin Timberlake!!! God I love this guy! Side note, he is about 27 and really cute, hot lean bod. We sing together on the way down the Champs Elysees and I yell directions in between in French. He takes me home, I think about asking for his number but decide calling him the cook was enough embarrassment for the night and I have no skills. I thank him and make it home safe and sound at 4:30am. Another successful night in Paris!